


Never Stop Fighting

by Annide



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Chuck as God, Daddy Issues, Dark Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, First Blade, Having Faith, Hope, Killing, Lucifer's Cage, M/M, Mark of Cain, Men of Letters Bunker, Minor Character Death, Plot Driven, Purgatory, Season 9, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annide/pseuds/Annide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The brothers go investigate a weird occurrence but they end up rescuing someone who might be able to help them fight Metatron and put heaven back in business. But could she have an agenda of her own?</p>
<p>This story takes place after 9x19 Alex Annie Alexis Ann.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam and Dean had been staying in the same motel for weeks now. They came there because the next town over was overthrown by incredibly powerful storms. They wanted to investigate whatever was causing them. They spent their first week trying to find a way into the storm, to get into the action, but it turned out all they could do was research, from the neighbouring town. They read books after books after books, read pages and pages on the internet about everything that could possibly cause such a disturbance in weather, but they found nothing. It was worse than any storm that occurred during the apocalypse and this was one of the reasons the Winchesters didn’t simply give up and go hunt something they could actually kill. They went to look at the storm from closer and closer every day, trying to learn more about it, while still being careful enough not to be dragged into it. From their observations, they had doubt that much of anything from the town remained, though they couldn’t see clearly enough through the rain, winds and hail to be completely certain. One morning, they were woken up by abnormally loud thunder and when they looked out their window, they saw lightning hitting a mostly broken building that caught fire. This is the most they ever saw inside the town. The storm did seem to keep to a certain perimeter, though the winds sometimes came to shake the windows of their motel.

A month passed before Castiel finally answered Dean’s prayers and showed up. Only to be welcomed by angry reproaches and loads of yelling. And who could blame the boys for being mad at him? What seemed to be the biggest storm since Noah’s arch was happening and the angel had more pressing things to do because after all “it’s not like this thing is moving and it is already too late to save the people anyway”. This only angered Dean more and he stormed out of the room, unable to stand this anymore. Castiel taking all his time to come was only the most recent problem. He was exhausted of not knowing what they were facing, of doing all this research for nothing. He just felt so helpless and he’d hope his best friend, the all-knowing angel, could provide some help, and tell them what to take a swing at. Because, really, Dean missed a good old demon fight.

They learned that, if Dean became grumpy with the inaction, Castiel was even worse. After only a week of doing research with the brothers, the angel became insufferable. He wasn’t used to just sitting in a room and reading for days and the atmosphere became difficult for all of them; their worries and disappointments only making each other more tired of not knowing, and of being cooped up with one another. Two weeks after Castiel arrived, the storm seemed to start growing weaker and the little group rekindled with new hope. They started talking about a plan of how to proceed when it would be possible to get into town and finally, after two months of surveillance, the storm turned into a downpour. At the insistence of Sam, they still spent a day trying to find an explanation to the sudden change before driving in. They had figured out, with all of their time observing the phenomenon, that the storm stayed in a pretty stable circle and when it expanded or tightened, it did all around, so they thought the center was a good place to start.

They were right. As they drove deeper into town, they could see the extent of the destruction becoming worse and worse and when they reached the middle, they found a whole circle where nothing had survived. There were no more buildings, no more trees, no more grass on the small hill. Castiel was the one who found it. A small opening on the opposite side of the hill. The brothers came running to join him, smiles on their faces. This was their first lead in weeks and they couldn’t stop themselves from feeling a bit relieved.

Dean went in first. He led the way into a steep tunnel that ended with a sharp turn before letting him into a large cave. He told the others to wait, hidden, while he explored the surroundings. A fire allowed him to see clearly around, though it was hiding the farther part of the site. It seemed empty at first and he could hear no sound of movements whatsoever. As he walked deeper inside, it seemed whatever had caused the storm may have left town. Then, he saw her and he knew something was coming back. Her arms were chained apart from each other and she lay just high enough that her knees couldn’t touch the floor. Her feet seemed like useless limbs, not in any position to hold her, and they just lay in the dirt. Her head had fallen down so that her chin rested on her chest and her long brown hair was making it impossible for Dean to see her face. Her clothes were ripped in various places and he could see blood still dripping from a quantity of wounds that made him doubt she was even still alive. But she was. He could hear her ragged breath as he stepped closer. She didn’t react to his presence until he touched the chain that was tied to one of her wrists. She turned her head, only slightly, just enough so Dean knew she was still conscious, despite how beaten down she looked. She was not as frail as she seemed. As she didn’t say anything, Dean turned his attention back to the chains which, as it appeared, were too strong for him to break and he had to call Castiel for help. The angel was at his side in an instant, but instead of simply freeing the young woman from the chains, he stopped to examine them.

“Cas, what are you doing? Whatever’s keeping her here could be back any moment and if it’s powerful enough to create a giant storm, I don’t think we can fight it off without knowing what we’re up against, so hurry up.”

“But Dean, those writings on the chains, this is enochian. It is meant to trap something.”

“Like an angel?”

“Yes, but it could also weaken more powerful beings like Death.”

“Are you telling me this girl, who looks like she’s practically dead, could be as powerful as Death?”

“It is possible, but it would take more than that to hold her, she’d have to be weakened first. Whatever did this must have access to a lot of power.”

“Yeah? Well, let’s not stay here too long then. Let’s just take her and we’ll figure it out later, okay?”

Castiel stared at the chains for a short moment longer before he took out his angel blade and broke the chains. Dean caught her and started carrying her toward the exit when they noticed the noise. Sam was blocking the way to the cave, knife in hand, fighting a demon. There seemed to be more in the tunnel, but there wasn’t enough space for them to go around the battle. Castiel ran to Sam’s help and they managed to start making their way toward the exit. They killed at least a dozen demons before they could get inside the impala and drive away as fast as possible. The girl was lying on the back seat, her head resting on Castiel’s knees. And as Sam glanced a last look behind them, he saw Abaddon arrive, looking pretty pissed. No one talked for the first half hour, only taking in what had just happened. No matter whom the young woman was, Abaddon seemed really angry to see her get away and that generally meant she was planning something they’d eventually have to stop.

“How could Abaddon and a bunch of demons cause such a huge storm? Never heard of demons being able to screw with nature.”

For several minutes, the only answer Dean got was a stare from Castiel, trying to figure out an answer, and Sam lifting his shoulders. Then, the girl turned to lie on her back, keeping her eyes closed and with a weak voice simply said.

“That might have been me.”

Though she said it like she didn’t know, Dean could hear the certainty behind the words. And when Sam turned to look at her, she buried her face under Castiel’s trench coat, who didn’t seem to know how he was suppose to react, but, being an angel, he could feel power emanating from her.


	2. Chapter 2

“Dean.”

“Cas?”

“Dean, I think we should stop somewhere. Soon.”

“Why? The all-powerful, no need to sleep angel is getting tired of sitting in a car?”

“Dean, I am serious. She is still bleeding and I don’t seem to be able to heal her. We need to stop and do something. Unless you prefer her blood staining your back seat.”

“Fine, alright, I’ll stop as soon as I can, okay?”

They’d been on the road for quite a while and Castiel had tried healing the young woman several times without success. A number of her wounds were pretty deep and any human would’ve fainted from the pain but, though she looked really weak and wouldn’t or couldn’t open her eyes, she was still conscious. Castiel knew that from the way she reacted to the conversations by clutching his coat tighter or pulling herself closer to him. She was also definitely not human. They drove for another half hour before finding a motel. Sam checked in while Dean got their bags out of the car. Castiel followed them into their room, the girl in his arms. She didn’t even open her eyes to see where they were, she just let herself be transported and deposited on a bed. Castiel had never seen anything alive that seemed so lifeless.

Only when Sam put a needle through her skin to start stitching her up did she finally open her eyes. They were blue with just a hint of green that made you feel like you were staring at a lake or a pond whenever you looked into them. She stared at Sam with a questioning look and he realised they never even told her who they were.

“I am Sam Winchester. This is my brother Dean. And over there is Castiel.”

“Cybelle.”

She looked down and, for a moment, she just watched Sam’s hands stitching up her wounds.

“What are you doing?”

The question surprised Sam because it seemed weird that she would just let him repeatedly drive a needle and dental floss in her skin if she didn’t know why he was doing it.

“These are stitches. I’m closing your wounds so they can heal.”

“Is this how humans do? It looks messy.”

“What do you usually do when you’re hurt?”

She didn’t answer. She just crawled away from Sam, though moving seemed to be painful.

“You don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine, I’m sorry. Just let me finish this, okay? It’ll stop the bleeding.”

She didn’t answer, but when he came to sit next to her, she just let her head fall on the wall and watched Sam resume his stitching. She didn’t appear to care about it at all, like she didn’t think it would change anything if she was bleeding or not. The possibility of bleeding out apparently didn’t concern her, either because she didn’t mind dying or because it wouldn’t kill her, Sam couldn’t figure out which.

Dean and Cas did not simply wait around during that time. They left to go get some food. True, the angel didn’t need to eat and wasn’t needed for this task but he liked sitting next to Dean in the front seat of the impala while they went to the drive-thru. It just felt comfortable feeling his presence close to him. When they got back, Sam hurried in joining Dean at the table, clearly starving. They had brought a third meal for Cybelle but she didn’t move. It appeared the smell of fast food wasn’t as appealing to her as it was to the brothers. Since Castiel didn’t require feeding, he went to sit next to her on the bed.

“Do you not eat?”

“I do not need to.”

She put her forehead on Castiel’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around his sleeve. Dean stared at them and Castiel didn’t understand why he looked angry all of a sudden. Sam also didn’t know why his brother still hadn’t made a move on Cas, though he got jealous anytime someone got close to the angel. Cybelle didn’t even seem to be interested in who she was holding onto. Sam was convinced she only needed comfort and just about anyone would’ve done.

“I still don’t understand why none of Abaddon’s demons were inside the cave to guard Cybelle.”

The question had been eating at Sam all day. It didn’t make sense to just leave a prisoner alone like that. Of course, neither Dean nor Castiel could provide him with an answer.

“They got attacked and at first Abaddon stayed with me but the fight went on longer than she liked and I was too weak to try anything so she just went to help her demons. I think she was getting bored with me.”

Her voice sounded tired and lacked to show any interest in what she was saying. Sam hadn’t noticed that before because she only spoke short sentences but she talked like she was mainly sharing information with them instead of actually wanting to take part in the conversation.

“It’s getting late. We should get some sleep.”

Sam wasn’t really all that tired, but he thought it better not to get in the subject of Cybelle’s time with Abaddon yet. It was obvious she didn’t want to talk and he understood why. The last two months could only be unpleasant memories and there was no reason not to give her a little time. Plus, she probably could use some rest too. Dean seemed to agree as he stood up and went to lie on the second bed.

“When was it decided that you get the bed?”

“If you didn’t want the floor, you should’ve taken two rooms.”

“You can take this bed, Sam, I do not sleep.” Cybelle said.

“But you’re hurt.”

Cybelle rolled her eyes, let out a sigh and gave Sam an irritated look.

“Castiel, heal me.”

“I tried earlier, it didn’t work.”

“It will now.” She snapped.

Castiel did as she told him and this time he had no trouble making the wounds and the rips in her clothes disappear.

“In the car, you were blocking my grace from you? Why? Have you no desire to survive?”

“Leave me alone, Castiel.”

She got up and walked across the room to sit in the corner, her head resting on the wall, her eyes fixed on the carpet. Her wounds were healed but it seemed having the angel do it really annoyed her, like it made her feel vulnerable or something. Apparently, being tortured for two months wasn’t the only thing that bothered her. Sam turned to Castiel for answers but all he got was a puzzled look. He was too tired to try to make sense of it now so as Cas got up he let himself fall on the empty bed. The angel sat at the table and watched Dean sleep. The hunter just looked so peaceful like this. Castiel often envied the capacity humans had to shut off for a few hours and let themselves forget all of their problems. But he also liked being able to see Dean in this state where none of his responsibilities mattered and the constant worry left his face. It was nice to think that just for a little while, the oldest brother didn’t feel the weight of the blame he put on himself.

When Sam woke up, Cybelle was staring at Castiel who was watching his sleeping brother with a loving look that would embarrass Dean if he were to open his eyes now. Sam took a shower and when he got out, the four of them went to get breakfast at a nearby diner before getting back on the road. Since no one seemed to be in a conversational mood, Dean put music on and raised the volume which got him protests from his little brother but Castiel didn’t mind and Cybelle enjoyed it, so he couldn’t win this time. Sam thought it was a bit unfair because the angel always took his brother’s side and they ganged up on him but there was nothing he could do about it. When the tape was over, no one did anything to show they’d notice until Cybelle broke the silence.

“Why do you not leave me some place? I am still weak and all I am doing right now is put a target on your backs. I will not be able to protect you if anyone comes for me.”

“We can take care of ourselves. And I thought Cas healed you?” Dean wondered.

“He healed my wounds, but I was already weakened when Abaddon got to me, that is how she could keep me chained so easily. Now, will you let me out of the car before I cause you more trouble?”

“Sorry, we don’t abandon vulnerable and depressed people, it’s not our style.”

“I am not depressed.”

“You think I don’t recognize that look? You have the face of someone who blames themselves for something and don’t think they can bring anything other than pain to the people around, someone who thinks everyone’d just be better off without them. You can’t fool me there, I practically invented that look.”

Both Sam and Cas were surprised to hear Dean talk so openly about emotions. They knew he felt this way, but the hunter rarely said it out loud like this, preferring to keep everything inside until he couldn’t anymore and everything came shooting out. Sam suspected this discomfort to share his feelings with others was also the reason Dean wouldn’t admit he was in love with the angel.

“So you know how it feels to do something maybe you should not and then have it make trouble for other people? People who do not have anything to do with it? Because that is what happened. I was selfish, I used maybe a bit too much power in a short time and I hurt myself. I was vulnerable and got caught by demons. I still cannot heal my own wounds. There is no one else to blame, I did not have to do it. I made a choice so this is my problem. Either I will get better or I will die, no need for you to bother with me. You do not even know me.”

“Why’d you do it then, if it made you so weak we had to rescue you from Abaddon?”

“I felt lonely, and my angel was stuck in a bad situation. I just could not leave him alone any longer, even if he told me to. But you know, you love someone, you do not let them rot in their pain. Do not look at me like that Castiel, I am sure you and Dean did pretty stupid things for each other.”

Sam tried to give her a look to make her understand that they didn’t talk about the bond between Dean and the angel, but it seemed she didn’t understand those things any better than Castiel.

“Why are you giving me that look? What does it mean?”

Castiel tilted his head, as puzzled as she was. Dean let out a sigh before talking.

“Cas and I don’t... We’re not... We’re best friends. Why does everyone always think there’s more to it?”

“He spent the night watching you sleep. And the looks you share with each other, those are not best friends looks.”

Sam let out a laugh. Cybelle had been with them only for a day, and already she’d noticed. Dean seemed to be the only one who wouldn’t see it.

“Shut up.”


	3. Chapter 3

Dean and Cas were alone in a motel room. The angel was standing in the middle of the room, his eyes locked on the hunter who was sitting on one of the beds, head in his hands.

“What’s wrong, Dean?”

Pleading green eyes shot up to meet his. Dean hadn’t said a word in hours. After the conversation in the impala, he had simply driven to the first motel, checked in and got into the room in silence. Sam had taken the wheel and left right after Castiel had gotten out of the car, he was taking Cybelle for a food run. The angel sat on the bed next to the hunter. He didn’t know what to do in this situation, he had never seen Dean like this before.

“Is this about what Cybelle said?”

“Cas, please.”

Dean got up and passed his hand in his face, his back to Castiel. Everything the young woman had said was true. He’d tried to ignore it, but he had trouble seeing the point of it anymore. It seemed he was the only person still denying it and it was only getting harder and harder to do so. He didn’t think he could do it any longer. But he was afraid of his feelings for the angel. He had never experienced those for a man before. And the guy was his best friend, he liked their relationship the way it was, he didn’t want to risk ruining it because he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about what it would feel like to kiss him. He just couldn’t. But when he turned to shot a glance at Castiel, he looked so miserable and worried, Dean only wanted to wrap him in his arms and kiss the worried look off of his stupidly pretty face. It took all his will not to do it.

***

“I like this place.”

Sam and Cybelle were walking around a farmer’s market and for the first time since they rescued her from Abaddon, he saw her smile. She seemed more in her element, out there with a soft breeze ruffling through their hair. They were only browsing for now, taking their time because they were in no rush to go back to the motel. Dean seemed pretty upset and Sam wanted to let his brother talk it out with Castiel. And it’s not like they didn’t have anything to talk about themselves.

“So, I’m curious. You made that storm that destroyed that whole town?”

“Yes.”

“What about the people living there? Did they get any time to leave before it got that bad?”

“I doubt it.”

“And you’re not concerned that you might’ve just killed thousands of people?”

“What do you want me to tell you? I was being tortured and lost control of my powers, my emotions just took over. Do you think I would have stayed chained there if I had any control over it? Do you think maybe I decided to massacre a town instead of freeing myself?”

“But you don’t feel bad about it? You seem to care more about giving us trouble than those people’s deaths.”

“There is nothing I can do about those people being dead. Feeling bad about it would not change what happened.”

Sam stared at Cybelle for a while. He couldn’t figure her out. On the one hand, she was willing to risk dying just so they wouldn’t have people after them, but on the other, she was responsible for the deaths of thousands of human beings and didn’t give a second thought about it.

***

“Dean.”

“Cas, don’t.”

Dean felt a hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t heard Castiel get up from the bed, but now the angel was turning him around, forcing the hunter to face him. Dean knew Cas was voluntarily ignoring all of what he told him about personal space. He knew the angel liked standing a little too close to him, and they both enjoyed the proximity.

“Dean, tell me what’s wrong. Why is it such a problem that people think we are more than friends? I’d love being more than your friend. Is it that you don’t like me?”

“No, Cas. I like you, it’s just, I can’t.”

“You deserve happiness too, Dean. You can’t keep pushing me away because you think you’re not good for me.”

“But it’s true, Cas. I’m poison. Everyone around me ends up dead. Look at you. I’ve fucked you up so bad already.”

“I made my own choices. _I_ rebelled against Heaven, _I_ opened purgatory and let the leviathans out, _I_ decided to stay in purgatory, _I_ helped Metatron break Heaven and lost my grace. And it wasn’t your responsibility to take care of me while I was human. You had nothing to do with any of it, Dean, it wasn’t your fault. You have to stop feeling so guilty about everything.”

Dean just looked back at him. He couldn’t help how he was feeling. And how was he supposed to not feel bad about throwing Cas out of the bunker? He knew it hurt the angel’s feelings and he hated that. Cas deserved better. And Dean was sticking to this, he wouldn’t change his mind. Or so he thought until the angel’s lips were suddenly on his and he was unable to stop himself from kissing him back.

***

“So, where’s your angel?”

“What?”

Sam was starting to pick up some food to bring back to the motel. He did intend to stop somewhere else after to get something Dean would prefer.

“You said you weakened yourself to help an angel, didn’t you? Where is he?”

“I left him somewhere safe. He needed time to recover. He must be back to full power by now. I weakened myself further to strengthen his vessel, so he better be fine. He probably left the place, may be trying to find me, but it could take a while, I am warded against angels.”

Cybelle lifted the four layers of clothes covering her stomach to reveal she had the same tattoo as Castiel.

“So, you don’t know where he is? You got hurt saving him and you’re not even keeping contact?”

“Maybe you did not notice, but there are people after me. If Abaddon was the first to come after me, she will not be the last. The angels might not like me, but they will still want the same information. And my angel getting stuck in the middle of this would only make it worse for everyone.”

“Angels don’t like you?”

“You think they like you and your brother?”

Sam let out a laugh.

“Far from it. After the apocalypse and all the trouble Cas caused...”

“Yeah, I do not understand why they are going after Castiel instead of Metatron though.”

“Yeah, well, why would they go after you?”

“Did Castiel tell you about Balthie stealing all of Heaven’s weapons a couple years ago?”

“Balthazar? Yeah, but he’s dead now, Cas killed him. No one knows where the weapons are.”

“I do. Balthie was my best friend. I helped him move the weapons to a safe place. That is what Abaddon was trying to get out of me.”

Sam didn’t know how to respond to this information, so he just stared at her, his eyes wide in shock. When he didn’t say anything, Cybelle simply turned to look around at all the fruits and vegetables around, and the people walking by, picking some things up, and talking to one another. She seemed fascinated by it and Sam thought she may not have spent that much time around humans, because she was a little like Castiel was in the beginning, observing what was going on around her and, every once in a while, tilting her head, unable to understand all the subtleties of human interactions. Sam was about to finally say something, when she turned back to him.

“There are demons over there, we need to go.”

She pointed to the opposite side of the farmer’s market where three men were rudely making their way towards them.

“Now, Sam, more will come and I do not have any way to fight them right now. I am too weak to use my powers and I have no weapon.”

“You know where all of Heaven’s weapons are but you have nothing to defend yourself?”

“Of course not, I had an angel blade, but Abaddon took it from me.”

He gave her the bag of goods he had bought, to be ready to use the knife, and they started walking across the market, trying to get back to the impala before the demons caught up with them. They had no such luck, but Sam was a skilled hunter and he had no problem fighting those three demons. The real trouble came when they got into the parking lot. At least a dozen demons were waiting for them at the impala.

“Do you have any idea what we do now? Cause I can’t fight off that many alone. I could pray to Cas, but if I interrupt a conversation with Dean, it could take some time for him to answer. Do you think you could call your angel?”

Cybelle’s eyes widened and Sam could see she didn’t even consider this option. But what he saw in her eyes was not concern for the angel’s safety, it wasn’t worry of any of them getting hurt, it was the absolute desire to find any other solution to the problem.

“What? You think he wouldn’t come?”

“I... It’s just... If I call him, you have to promise not to make a big deal out of it, okay?”

“Why? Do I know him?”

“Please, just give him a chance, I know him much better than you do, and I swear he is a much better person than you think.”

“I have a bad feeling about this, but, fine, if you say he’s alright, I believe you.”

It didn’t seem like there was any other way. The demons were starting to notice them. They didn’t have time to argue. And Sam thought she was probably just nervous. Why would he make a big deal over an angel? Almost all of the angels he knew were dead.

“Thank you.” She took a deep breath. “Luci, could you come here, please, I need your help.”

Sam turned to her, but before he could say anything Lucifer appeared at her side, in the vessel he had when the hunter first met him. The angel barely looked at him for a second while Cybelle told him what was going on. He simply turned and made his way to the impala to smite the demons. Lucifer then looked back at them, smiling.

“So, where are we going now?”

“They got a motel room for the night and then they talked about some kind of bunker.”

“Mind if I join you?”

Cybelle was looking up at him like she was trying to remind him what he promised, but Sam couldn’t exactly stay calm about this.

“This is your angel? You got him out of the cage?”

“If you are worried about it being the apocalypse all over again, you should not. Michael is still down there, nobody knows Luci is back and I made him swear not to try that again.”

“And you think he’ll keep his word? That’s Lucifer!”

“He has been back for two months, he has had plenty of time to put the apocalypse back on and he did not. I have known him for a long time, Sam, he will not make any trouble. I asked you to give him a chance. He just saved your life!”

Sam had to take some deep breaths while he thought about it. He didn’t know what made him trust her, but, for some reason, he did. After what he did to Lucifer by jumping in the cage, the angel must’ve been pretty angry with him, yet he didn’t mention it and just helped them like nothing was more natural.

“Fine, but he can’t come with us, Cas and Dean wouldn’t be as understanding as I am.”

“I completely understand. Traveling by car isn’t really my thing anyway. Shall we go, Cyb?”

“She stays. She knows things that might help us fight Metatron.”

Lucifer didn’t protest. He simply gave Cybelle a kiss and left.

***

Castiel was pinning Dean against the wall and they were passionately kissing each other, grinding against one another, when the door opened. Dean pushed the angel off in panic and tried to look casual but that only made Sam laugh harder.


	4. Chapter 4

_Cybelle was walking at a fast but steady pace. She’d been in purgatory for a moment now but no one had come near her, yet. Monsters usually left her alone, but down here, where they didn't have humans to entertain them, it wouldn't be that easy. She'd noticed a presence behind her only a few minutes after her arrival, but whatever it was stayed at a safe distance and she let it. It was slowly making its way closer to her, as if she couldn’t hear it. She didn’t show any sign of recognition. She was curious by nature, and couldn’t help but wonder what this creature was doing. She had expected monsters to attack right away, without being careful about it. So she kept on going. She wasn’t here for fun, she had a specific destination, a clear purpose for her presence here. She’d never actually been there before, but she knew where she was going. She simply had to follow the stream until she saw three trees merging as one. Not only reapers knew about this._

_She had no plan to stop at all because she didn’t want to waste any time but the monster was getting closer than she liked. In a single movement, she turned around, put her hand around the creature’s neck, a vampire it turned out, and pushed him up against the nearest tree._

_“What do you want?”_

_The vampire let out a laugh. To which Cybelle replied by tightening her grip on his neck, her eyes fixated on his face, a mix of anger and exasperation filling them._

_“We don’t get a lot of visitors down here. I was curious.”_

_"What makes you think I am a visitor, not just another dead monster?"_

_"You smell different."_

_He spoke with a clear accent from one of the southern states of America, which she was able to recognize because she’d encountered a couple of humans during a trip to the swamp. She let go of him and he fell to the ground._

_“I could have killed you.”_

_“That doesn’t scare me.” He got back to his feet, wiping the dirt off of his clothes._

_“Clearly.” She resumed her walking and he followed. “What is your name?”_

_“Benny. Benny Lafitte, ma’am.”_

_“You can call me Cybelle.”_

They’d gotten to the bunker a half hour earlier. Dean was sitting at the kitchen table, having lunch alone because his brother preferred locking himself into his room than spending more time with him than was necessary and the others didn't eat.

"Where are Cas and Cybelle?"

Sam's appetite was bigger than his dislike for Dean after all.

"Outside. She said she needed the fresh air. He’s keeping her company.”

They hadn't mentioned what happened between Dean and Cas. They hadn't been the two of them alone since the angel had joined them and it was clearly uncomfortable. Not because of what Sam had seen the previous day, but because the younger Winchester was still mad at the oldest. Sometimes Dean wondered if their relationship could ever be mended, or if Sam even wanted to work on it at all.

"Yeah, she did look more comfortable when we were at the farmer's market."

Dean thought his brother would stay and they could talk a little while they ate, but Sam left the kitchen as soon as he finished preparing his salad. Feeling lonely, Dean threw what was left of his food and decided to go join the others outside.

_They'd been walking for about five minutes when they were first attacked. Four vamps came from different directions. They were surrounded. Benny was a little worried, not too much because during all his time here he'd been in situations at least as bad as this, but there was someone else by his side and she didn't carry an axe in her hands like he did, which seemed weird to him, who would visit purgatory unarmed? She looked confident though so he just charged at the nearest vampire, assuming she'd be fine. And she was more than that. After he cut the vamp's head off, he turned to see how she was doing. A weapon fell out of her sleeve into her hand, where did it come from he couldn't figure out, and while she impaled a first vampire through the chin with it, she put her other hand around a second's neck and ripped his head apart from his body. Benny then understood that while he'd thought she'd had to use a lot of her strength to tightly hold his neck earlier, it was actually nothing to her, compared to what she could do. She hadn't been lying when she said she could've killed him. He hadn't really believed her before, because she looked a bit frail but now that he saw her fight those vamps so effortlessly, he was glad he didn't piss her off. When she'd killed the last vamp, she turned to him and smiled._

_"That was a nice distraction. Shall we go on?"_

_Benny couldn't stop a laugh from escaping his lips. He didn't know how long she was going to stay in purgatory, but he would certainly have a good time hanging out with her._

It was a nice day. They could feel the sun warming their skin, what small part of it was showing at least. Cybelle was lying down on the grass, eyes close, and Cas and Dean were sitting a little farther, their backs resting on the outside wall of the bunker.

"Sam still won't forgive me. And now that we're back, he doesn't have to pretend."

Castiel didn't know what to answer to that anymore. It seemed nothing he did could bring the brothers back to their old relationship, so he just laid his hand on Dean's thigh as a sign of support.

"Just give him time. Do your thing, let him do his. He will come around eventually. You can hate each other all you want but in the end, you are still family and you will always put your differences aside. You have no one else other than each other that can fully understand what you have been through."

Castiel was surprised that someone who knew as little as he did about human interactions could have such an understanding of this kind of relationship. And seeing how Dean was looking at Cybelle, he wasn't the only one who hadn't been expecting that.

"How would you know anything about family?"

"I have four brothers, and all of us are older than even your friend Castiel. I do not know what you did to Sam, but we have done pretty bad things to each other and we are doing okay."

"Really? So how come none of those brothers came to help you then?"

Cybelle sat up, facing Dean, and let out a sigh. "Our _relationship_ is okay. But most of us are dealing with our own personal crap. We have been on this planet long enough to know that sometimes, you need to do things on your own. Maybe that is why you and your brother are having so much trouble. Always doing everything together."

"You want to judge my relationship with Sam? At least we have each other's back. If you're all having problems maybe you should try helping each other instead of staying alone. My brother and I learned that being apart never works out."

"We are not alone. Some of them are together, some of us have other people. Besides, some of my brothers wanted me to get revenge for them, against you and Sam. So if I were you, I would stop talking now."

"What could we possibly have done to your brothers?"

Since Castiel was only listening to the argument, he was able to think more about what was being said and connect the dots.

"Wait, stop, I think I know who she really is. Cybelle is just a name you use, isn't it? Like the Mother of All who had people call her Eve."

Dean and Cybelle both turned to him, remembering all of a sudden that he was still there.

"Why does it matter?" They asked at the same time.

"You can make a storm strong enough to destroy a whole town without realising it, you are hard to trap, you have four brothers, some of which are pissed at the Winchesters, and you are very old, correct?"

"Cas, I really don't see where you're going with that."

Cybelle knew. She'd gone silent and was only staring at Castiel. That's what convinced the angel that his reasoning was right, she wasn't trying to deny anything. Clearly, she never believed they wouldn't figure it out eventually, maybe she'd just hoped it would've taken a little bit longer.

"You are the one humans refer to as Mother Nature. You are the horsemen of the apocalypse's sister, the one responsible for the cataclysmic events part of it."

"Which, you would agree, is just as important as anything else for the end of the world, and yet I do not get as much credit for my work as my brothers."

"And from what I heard, they are allowed into Heaven and you are not."

"Did you hear anything about _why_ I was forbidden access to Heaven?"

She seemed quite afraid waiting for his answer, so the rumours must've been through.

"Word is going around Michael chased you because you were too close to Lucifer."

"Michael never liked me."

Dean turned toward her, shock invading his face as he was slowly realising what that meant.

_"Over there, look. There's this black smoke again. I don't know what it is but it's the deadliest thing I've encountered here."_

_Cybelle followed his gaze over the trees._

_"Those are demons. They should not be here."_

_"How do we fight them?"_

_"In this form? We cannot kill them, but I think I can force them back where they belong."_

_"How?"_

_She didn't answer, it seemed the best way to do it was just to demonstrate. They stood there for about a minute, the demons still getting closer, until the winds picked up. Benny was convinced Cybelle was doing that. For one, the weather never changed in purgatory and, second, she looked relieved, like she may not have been entirely sure it would work. The wind was managing to push the black smoke all in the same direction and at first, Benny was glad to see her succeed, then he realised she was sending the demons in the same direction they'd been heading and he was doubtful._

_"Are you really pushing them toward where we're going or is it just not working the way you want it?"_

_"It always works the way I want it. This is the way to purgatory's back door to Hell. It is why I am here."_

_"You're here because you want to get into Hell? Why would anyone want that?"_

_"I am trying to get someone out."_

_"Well then, I guess that someone is lucky to have you."_

_Benny couldn't help reminiscing the times he spent with Dean, risking their lives to save the angel. Those had been some of the best of his life and he missed them terribly. He was enjoying himself with Cybelle too though. It was so simple, just following the stream and killing whatever came their way. It felt nice to have company, purgatory was lonely, but he never regretted his decision to stay. He just wished he'd have someone to keep him company sometimes. He did make quite a good friend in a vamp called Lenore, right after he helped Sam leave, and they'd been together for months. She helped him fight off his old clan and they stayed together after that. They even made a home in some corner of purgatory and it seemed like everything was finally going to be alright. They could spend eternity loving each other, fighting off the occasional monster, free of the hunger that got vampires to kill humans topside. Then, the black smoke appeared. They'd never seen anything like it before. They tried to fight it off, but nothing worked. Lenore got killed and he barely managed to escape. Since then, all he felt was loneliness. He'd hoped Cybelle would stay a while but, too soon, she had pushed the demons into a hole beneath three trees that merged into one and she turned to him, a disbelieving laugh escaping her lips._

_"I cannot believe the last person who used this door left it open. Be sure to close it behind me, okay? So demons cannot get out here again."_

_"You can trust me on that."_

_"I am sure I can."_

_They stayed there for a moment, none of them wanting to say goodbye to this new friendship._

_"Well then, it was great meeting you, Benny, I hope our paths cross again someday."_

_"Yeah, good luck getting your friend out."_

_She smiled and he couldn't understand how she could radiate happiness no matter what. They both knew it would be a lot of work, she'd told him she wasn't sure she could actually make it out alright and yet, there she was, smiling like she wasn't just about to literally go to Hell. And this was the last he saw of her before he put the rock back in its spot, hiding the passage._

Sam was sitting at the library's table when they came back inside. What struck him was the fact that they came all at once, practically running toward him, Dean leading the group.

"You knew about this? You knew she let Lucifer out of the cage and you didn't tell us?"

Dean was furious and Sam was completely unprepared for this. He really didn't expect his brother to learn this information so soon.

"He's probably planning the apocalypse right now. Or thinking of a way to get you to say yes to be his vessel again."

"I already told you, Dean, I resurrected and strengthened his old vessel. He does not need Sam anymore."

Dean sighed deeply like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He took off his jacket and threw it on a chair.

"Why aren't any of you more upset about this?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. He's been out for a while and we didn't even notice. Seems to me like we have bigger concerns. Like Metatron."

"Your brother is right, Dean. And if Cybelle and Lucifer really are close, maybe they can help us fix Heaven. They are both more powerful than I am. And he is the only angel other than Metatron who did not fall, we have to at least consider this."

"Why would he want to help us? He rebelled against God. Heaven banished him into Hell. He has no reason to help at all."

"Luci did not stop loving his brothers and sisters when they cast him out. I am sure he will be happy to be asked for assistance."

Sam could see his brother struggling with the idea for a moment before he resigned himself.

"Fine. Call him, whatever."

Dean left right after that, he probably went to listen to music in his room. Castiel followed him after shooting a glance at the others and deciding he wasn't really needed there anymore. While Cybelle called her angel, Sam closed his book, ready to explain the situation to Lucifer.

_Pain had become a part of him now. Adam didn't know how long he'd been in the cage. There was no way to tell and, even if there was, he passed out so often, probably for prolonged periods of time, that he still wouldn't be able to figure it out. He barely remembered his life before Hell. Sometimes, he had moments of clarity, during which he couldn't help but think of how unfair all of this was._

_Twice already someone had come in here. And did any of them rescue him? No. They didn't even look at him as they grabbed Sam Winchester's body and soul. And he was left to rot in here, tiny little human between two angels in their enormous true form. Michael and Lucifer spent most of their time fighting and yelling at each other. And they both took their frustrations out on him, defenseless empty vessel._

_At first, Adam had tried to stay out of their reach, but there was nowhere to hide in the cage. He'd also tried to prompt more of those rare moments when the brothers reminisced about Heaven, peacefully, and left him alone. Eventually, he'd just given up all hope and resigned himself. He would never get out of there. No one would ever come back. He'd be in the cage for eternity, getting ripped apart literally, again and again._

_Even with all this certainty and hopelessness, Adam still found himself lifting his head and thinking it was going to be over soon when a woman appeared. She was as small as he was, though not as tall as he'd be could he manage to get up on his feet, but she didn't stay this way for long. She gave him a look of support, a look that said "don't worry, everything is gonna be alright", and she made herself bigger._

_Hope filled Adam as she grew to the size of the angels. Lucifer seemed happy to see her, which Adam found strange. Clearly, that couldn't be good, but then again, that also meant he might not fight her. And he didn't. Lucifer just stood there, staring at the newcomer, and was that love in his eyes? Whatever it was, she was staring right back at him. The eye sex was abruptly interrupted by Michael shoving the woman into the wall._

_"What are you doing here, Cybelle?"_

_"Isn't it obvious?"_

_"Do you really think I will let you do that? You are not getting out of this cage."_

_Before she could answer, Lucifer pulled his brother away from her._

_"Don't you dare hurt her."_

_They all reduced themselves to human size to occupy less space and allow more liberty of movement, and there the brothers went again. Adam had seen them fight like this so often, he could predict most of their moves. They both won as much as they lost and he still couldn't tell who would get the upper hand. He usually didn't care about the outcome, but this time it seemed it'd be at his advantage if Lucifer won. Life never went Adam's way though, and the fight ended with the fall of the devil. Michael then turned to Cybelle._

_Adam was reassured when he saw the confident smile on her face, he thought it meant she had some kind of plan, some way to overcome Michael. An angel blade slid down her sleeve and she attacked her weaponless adversary. She possessed impressive skills and they fought for what felt like hours before she was disarmed. Adam was losing hope. The archangel was pissed but, for once, he didn't take it out on him. He grabbed the blade and put it to Cybelle's neck, pinning her on the floor._

_"I have been waiting millennia for this moment."_

_She struggled against him, but no matter how helpless she seemed, she never stopped staring Michael in the eyes with a challenging look._

_"Did you think your powers would work down here? So far from nature?"_

_"I am limited, but not powerless."_

_The ground started shaking, rocks fell from the ceiling, which was too high for Adam to see, but it meant they hurt him even more when they got to him. Michael stabbed Cybelle's side, pushing the angel blade further into her abdomen, doing so at an excruciatingly slow pace. He repeated the movement until she stopped the Earthquake she'd seemingly created, tears falling from her eyes into the pool of blood that was forming beneath her._

_"You call yourself an angel, but you are enjoying my pain way too much to deserve the title."_

_"I am only fulfilling my purpose to protect Heaven."_

_"Protecting Heaven against me? I am the one that protects and tends to God's creation, I am not a threat."_

_"Your affiliation to Lucifer makes you one."_

_"Because he loves God more than those humans? Your father created a beautiful planet and they are destroying it! How can you be on their side?"_

_"I am following God's orders."_

_"He never ordered you to do this."_

_"I do what I have to, to keep my brother in this cage."_

_Of course she'd come for Lucifer, who would care about Adam's fate? How could he think even for a second that he'd be getting out this time? He just laid back against the wall, watching as Lucifer finally got back up and charged his brother. They both struggled for the angel blade and they managed to hurt each other with it before it was thrown across the room, where Cybelle took it, lifting herself up on her elbow with a groan of pain. This was all it took to distract Michael long enough to allow Lucifer to temporarily knock him out._

_"What the Hell, Luci? Can you not stick to the plan just once in your life?"_

_"I thought I could take him out myself and avoid you the trouble."_

_"You and your stupid ego. You were out way too long."_

_"I am sorry, okay? Now just heal yourself so we can go."_

_"I cannot heal myself, I would not have enough power left to get us out. I am not my brother, Hell limitates me!"_

_Adam thought he could at least ask to be taken with, but his voice was too feeble to reach them from where he was, so he started crawling in their direction. Lucifer squatted and extended his hand toward Cybelle._

_"Do not. Please, Luci. Don't."_

_"Why? I just want to help you."_

_"You have been here with Michael for a long time, you have just been hurt, you are too weak to be healing."_

_"I do not care."_

_"Please, Luci, listen to me. Don't."_

_The following moment, Lucifer's hand grazed Cybelle's abdomen and all her wounds disappeared._

_"I hate you, Luci."_

_"I know, I love you too, Cyb."_

_"This is not what I said."_

_"It is what you meant though."_

_Adam wished they'd stop bickering and just get him out already. He'd almost reached them when Michael grabbed his ankles and pulled him back. He let out a cry of surprise and Cybelle turned to him._

_"Let him go, Michael."_

_"Not until I am sure my brother does not leave here."_

_Cybelle locked eyes with Adam. He could see pity in them._

_"I am sorry."_

_She'd only whispered it and Adam had to read the words on her lips, but he knew the feeling was sincere. She didn't come specifically for him, but she'd meant to rescue him as well. Adam could only feel gratitude that she'd at least tried, as Lucifer helped her to her feet. When they disappeared, hope that she'd one day be back made a home in his heart and helped him keep the despair away._  


	5. Chapter 5

"Cain told you there would be consequences, but he did not say what they might be?"

"I didn't let him. I didn't want to know. And frankly, I don't care."

"You don't care? So it does not matter what happens to you?"

Dean closed his eyes and took a breath. He knew the answer would hurt Castiel's feelings and he didn't like that. They were in the hunter's room, where he'd come to be alone, but the angel had joined him before he even had time to sit on the bed. They'd only gotten the opportunity to discuss alone once since Dean was given the Mark of Cain and they'd wasted it talking about their feelings for one another instead.

"No, it doesn't."

"You are wrong, Dean. It does matter. Did you even consider the people who love you? What about Sam? What about me? How do you think it would make us feel if something happened to you?"

"Sam doesn't care about me anymore. He'd probably be relieved. And you, you shouldn't care either."

"But I do, Dean. I care about you. I do not want anything to happen to you and neither does Sam. I love you, Dean. I wish you would understand that."

Dean didn't know how to react to those words. Cas had said them, those three words Dean never knew how to deal with. Of course, the hunter felt this way too, he was aware of it. He had been for a while now, but he just couldn't pronounce those three little words.

"It's done, Cas. You can get angry all you want about it, but it won't change anything."

Castiel gripped him by the collar of his t-shirt and pushed him against the wall.

"I can still change the way you think of yourself. You have to stop thinking of yourself as worthless, Dean. You won't be able to face those consequences if you don't want to fight for your life."

"What good am I doing anyone alive? Tell me, Cas, cause I don't see it."

"How many people have you saved? How many times have you helped me? I need you, Dean. I can't do this without you. I screwed up every time I tried doing things on my own."

Everything Castiel said was true and Dean couldn't find the strength in him to argue with the angel anymore. He didn't want to. They rarely spent that much time together and they had wasted so much of it fighting, Dean wouldn't do it anymore. So he wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist and pulled him closer.

"Can we just stop this and, I don't know, maybe enjoy being together, for once?"

"If that is what you want. But this conversation is not over, Dean."

"Will you shut up and kiss me?"

The angel closed the small space that was left between their lips by pulling Dean forward, still holding him by his collar. The hunter walked them to the bed, pushing the angel down on it. Dean straddled the blue-eyed man and started undoing the buttons of his shirt. Castiel raised himself enough that he could put kisses along the hunter's jaw line. When the angel's shirt was completely open, Dean started caressing the bare chest and glued their mouths back together, gradually slipping his tongue through Castiel's lips.

"I can't, Luci!"

Cas and Dean stopped for an instant, interrupted by the shouting coming from, they presumed, the main room of the bunker.

"We would not have this problem if you had not wasted all the power you had left on strengthening my vessel."

"Oh, so you would rather I had done like last time? Because that worked out so well!"

"At least, you still had all your power. You are as weak as those fallen angels now!"

"We did things how you wanted during the apocalypse, Luci, now we are doing it my way."

"Will you two stop arguing for 5 minutes? And stop that wind too, there's paper flying all over the place."

Dean exchanged a look with Cas, who was already buttoning his shirt.

"I think we better go see what's going on over there. We can't let Sammy handle those two alone."

He extended a hand toward the angel to help him get to his feet. There was a time when Castiel would've mentioned how unnecessary that was, but it seemed that since he'd been human, he was less insistent on these things. Dean couldn't figure out if it was humanity who changed him or if his powers just never really went back to how they were before. Did Castiel simply made him believe he needed him that much to make him feel better or did that new grace just didn't work that well? Whatever it was, Dean didn't have time to figure it out now as the angel was already dragging him forward by pulling on his arm. When they got to the library, books and papers were scattered everywhere and Sam's hair was as messy as it was in the morning.

"Okay, what's going on here? We can hear you yell at each other from the other end of this place."

To be honest, Dean was most of all pissed that he'd been interrupted, again, when he was about to finally get it on with his angel.

"We were trying to figure out a plan of action, but they got in an argument over Cybelle's powers."

Sam was sitting at the nearest table, as he had been when Dean last left the room. Cybelle sat across from him, with Lucifer standing behind her.

"Seriously? You can't have a conversation without getting into a fight? Haven't you two been together since, I don't know, forever?"

"Luci has been in the cage for most of this time. And I had a life before he came to existence, you know." Cybelle reminded them. "Nonetheless, my powers are not that much of a concern, they are coming back gradually. It is simply slowed by the bad state humans put nature in. We should worry more about Castiel."

"What's wrong with Cas?"

"He is losing his grace, it is burning up. It is slow and subtle for now, but it will not stay this way. He will need to get his own back if he wants to stay an angel. And that would mean we cannot kill Metatron, we would have to get him to tell us what he did with Castiel's grace and if we can restore it."

"How do you know all of that?"

"She can feel an angel's grace." Lucifer answered simply.

"I guess that's how she can block it so they can't heal her?"

Lucifer shot a glance down at Cybelle who was now reading from the closest book, oblivious to the conversation. "She is immune from the power of angels, unless she lets them in and she does not need to do that. I am sure she felt quite ashamed to require Castiel's assistance to heal herself. But I am here now so that will not be a problem again, she can't block out archangels."

"Well, great. We should get back to figuring out a plan now before Cas burns out."

"I am fine, Dean. And I still haven't found the way into Heaven, but Lucifer being an archangel," Castiel turned to the devil. "Maybe you know something about it, or you could sense it?"

"Maybe if I was close to it, but I do not know anything about it. Only Metatron and Father do. If he had any intention to get involved, he would have by now."

They all stayed silent for a moment, trying to think of a plan of action. Sam and Cybelle put some order back into the room, straightening up the papers her wind had scattered. Lucifer just stood by, observing them. Dean and Cas exchanged ideas in whispers, though only the younger Winchester didn't have the ability to hear their low voices from across the room. Sam and Cybelle were crouched under the table to pick up some books when Crowley made his appearance.

"I figured out where Abaddon is, we can go after her now." Catching a quick view of the room, he paused and backed away a little. "Lucifer? What is going on here?"

"He's helping us with something. It's not a great time to go icing Abaddon right now."

"I thought you wanted her dead as much as I do. She's still harvesting souls! You were supposed to find her and I did it for you, now just come, she could move anytime. It won't take long and we won't have to keep being besties after that. Though you don't seem to care affiliating with rulers of Hell anymore."

"You can go, Dean, we can make a plan without you and be ready to go when you come back." Cybelle said, getting up from under the table, followed by Sam.

Crowley turned toward her, seeing them for the first time since his arrival as they'd been hidden from his view.

"Cybelle?"

The King of Hell made a few steps in her direction, disbelief invading his face. Lucifer also moved to place himself between them both, though Cybelle's expression was puzzled.

"You two know each other?" Dean asked.

There was no sign of recognition in Cybelle's eyes and she started shaking her head slowly when Crowley answered.

"Cybelle, darling, it's Fergus McLeod. We were together a couple hundred years ago, I sold my soul, went to Hell and left you alone with our son, remember?"

"Oh. Yes, I do. I am sorry, I did not recognize you as a demon. You have done well in Hell, I see. I guess I was wrong, selling your soul turned out to be worth it after all."

"This was a touching reunion, now, Dean, can you leave with him, so we can get back to our business?" Lucifer didn't seem too pleased with Crowley's presence, but if the archangel really had been dating Cybelle since before he rebelled, that would mean she had been with Fergus during his imprisonment, which Dean would qualify as cheating, so he understood the devil's point.

"Yeah, good idea. Let's go and get this over with." His recent ease to accept Lucifer as an ally, and someone he could agree with, worried Dean, but he brushed that thought off his mind without any trouble.

"I will go with you. Sam told me how you were last time you touched the First Blade. I don't want you alone with Crowley in that state." Castiel announced.

"The First Blade? But I thought only Cain could use it?" Cybelle was the only person in the room who seemed confused by that information.

"That power is transferable. Dean is wearing the Mark of Cain now. I could sense it the second I got here." Lucifer explained, unable to stop a satisfied smile from forming on his lips.

"Maybe you should go with them and Castiel could stay here with us. You can sense the power in Dean better and we could really use an angel who has been in Heaven in the past century."

Cybelle made a good point, but Dean wished Cas to come along. He didn't really want to go hunting with Crowley and Lucifer, current and former rulers of Hell. Somewhere inside of him though, the idea to go after Abaddon with the demon and the archangel felt right. The Mark must've been having an effect on his morals or affiliation with Hell, because this didn't seem like him. He felt anger and a desire for violence like he never had before. Teaming up with Crowley and Lucifer over Castiel wasn't supposed to feel this good. Dean was afraid he was starting to lose himself and he was intent on not letting that happen. He didn't like the idea of sharing his burden with Cas but he needed him by his side, ready to remind him of who he was, ready to stop him if it came to that, like Colette had brought the good back in Cain.

"Why would you want Cas to stay instead of your boyfriend? You don't even like Cas!"

"What? This has nothing to do with anything. That was a strategic choice. I was just saying he would be more useful to us."

"Well, I think he'd be better with me. And Crowley's enough, I don't need Lucifer too."

"Fine, take your angel with you. The less time I spend with him, the better."

"What has he ever done to you?" Dean took a few steps toward Cybelle who responded by mimicking his actions, though she still seemed perfectly calm. Unlike Dean who lost his temper a lot easier since he first used the Blade. "He's made mistakes but he's a good guy. He's only been nice to you since we met you. Why wouldn't you give him a chance?"

"You are making assumptions way too fast here. I do not hold grudges. I forgave him for all he has done. I understand. I never said I do not like him. I do not want to spend time with him because I do not wish to become his friend." She momentarily closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke again. "I am not ready to get attached to another angel."

"Why?" Angels were dicks and Dean didn't like having to deal with them either, but it didn't go as far as being afraid to feel affection for them. Or maybe her dating Lucifer caused problems with angels, she did mention Michael not liking her, maybe the others treated her the same as their former leader.

"Because angels die."

Dean hadn't been expecting that. And he certainly didn't expect to hear the break in her voice. He felt bad now, but he also understood her better. They had more in common than he'd originally thought. It was obvious now she had also lost people in the past years, and he knew too well how it felt to watch others die and always be the one who survives. He didn't believe himself to deserve to still be alive, he so often had trouble seeing the point of his existence. He blamed himself for so much and only now did he realise that a millennia old being could struggle with the same issues. If he'd seen a lot of death and crap in his time, how much could she have gone through? If he could be exhausted by life, certainly she could too.

"Listen, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I don't know what got over me."

Cybelle attempted a small smile, but before she could say anything, Lucifer's hand was on her forehead and she fell asleep, caught by her lover who simply took her up in his arms.

"Yes, she understands. She had it hard recently. The apocalypse made her lose Anna, Gabriel and me, again. Then Balthazar. There is also nature deteriorating which weakens her. Her fight with Michael to get me out, having to leave that boy behind, did not help either. And being tortured by Abaddon until she was practically powerless, with her brother letting her wait for hunters to come and rescue her was simply too much. I will have her sleep for a while, I heard it helps humans, you should go and kill Abaddon. Please, Sam and I can work out a plan while you are gone."

Dean nodded. He put his arm around Castiel's shoulder and they started walking toward the door. They stopped to wave goodbye to Sam before leaving the bunker, Crowley right behind them.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam was reading some book the men of letters had about Heaven. He was trying to find anything about a way to get up there or about Metatron and the godly powers he had recently gotten. It had been almost an hour since Dean and Cas had left with Crowley. Lucifer was still standing there with Cybelle sleeping in his arms. He looked pensive, like he had an idea for a plan, but wasn't ready to share for some reason, or maybe he was still making up his mind about it.

Sam wasn't finding anything in this book and, after another half hour, he gave up. He'd spent most of the day researching and he didn't feel like it anymore. A couple of hours of break wouldn't be terrible, and it wasn't like Dean had never said he was doing research when he wasn't, Sam knew he'd started drinking a lot again. His brother wasn't fine, it was obvious. He went through whole bottles of whiskey in an afternoon and pack of beers were more short-lived than they'd ever been. Dean was shaking constantly, he kept on rubbing his arm where the Mark was and he got irritated so easily, the littlest things could make him snap. He was hard to live with. Sam pretended he didn't notice any of those things, but they worried him. He didn't know how he could help his brother, or how they could fix their relationship. He was still angry at Dean and, this time, he couldn't just let it go.

Sam was about to get up and go to the kitchen to cook himself some dinner when Lucifer finally moved. The devil put Cybelle down on the nearest chair and half-sat on the side of the table, his back to her so he could face the hunter.

"I did not want to say anything in front of my brother because I do not want to get his hopes up, but I think it is time for our father to come back."

"You mean, God?"

"Yes. After we fix what Metatron did, Heaven will still need a leader. Cyb thinks I should do it. However, I doubt the angels would welcome me as such. They like Castiel, but he cannot handle the pressure and the responsibilities it entails. Father needs to come out of hiding and bring some order back into Heaven."

"It sounds like a great idea, but Cas looked for him everywhere during the apocalypse and he couldn't find him. What makes you think we could do it this time?"

"My brother did not find God because he did not want to be found. You cannot simply look for him and hope for the best. Father probably sensed him getting close and moved before he was found. You have to know where he is hiding."

"Even if we did, he left Heaven, why would he accept to go back?"

"Cyb talked to him during the apocalypse. She said he did not want to get involved because it was a chance for his children to grow and learn from their mistakes. He hoped after all those years of observing humanity that we would understand the beauty of free will and apply the concept of forgiveness to one another. It seems even Father can be wrong sometimes. I do believe we can convince him to come back this time. He may not know the extent of Heaven's troubles."

"She talked to God? So, she knows where he's hiding?"

"I doubt he is still in the same place. However, she was able to find him then and she can certainly do it again."

"If you were planning on asking her to find God, why did you put her to sleep?"

"Like I told Dean, I heard sleeping helps humans feel better. I also wanted to discuss it with you first and see if there were other matters to settle before-"

"It sounds like you were trying to postpone asking her. Are you _afraid_ of her?"

"No, I simply doubt she will be happy with this plan. Her last meeting with Father did not go well. When she came back she was furious. And when I told her the good news that it didn't matter anymore if God would not help, or that Michael had found a vessel, because you were on your way, she left and I did not see her again until she got me out of the cage."

"I see. Well, I guess it can wait a little longer while I get some dinner."

Sam stood up and started to make his way to the kitchen. Just before he got out of the library, he stopped and turned to face Lucifer again.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

The devil took his eyes away from Cybelle and lifted his head to look at the hunter.

"Yes, of course."

"How come when we were in Detroit your presence made the temperature drop but it doesn't do that here?"

"Oh yes, it is simple really. This whole presence of an archangel affecting the weather thing annoys Cyb terribly. So she counters it with her powers. It seems she had regained enough for this by the time I got here. She always used to try and stay close to an archangel as much as she could. This is why you probably never saw noticeable changes in weather any of the times you met Gabriel. She has spent a lot of time around him."

"It's true, I never thought about it. Shouldn't Cybelle be saving her power or something though?"

"No, she is safe now. Saving it will not make the rest come back any faster. The real problem is that she is sick and there is nothing to be done about it."

They both let out a sad sigh and Sam left for the kitchen. He had read about the fact that the only way the Horsemen of the Apocalypse could die was if the thing they represent disappeared, but he never gave it much thought. A world without war or famine or sickness would be an utopia. Now he met their sister, the impersonator of nature, and it struck him to realize they lived in such a terrible world that she would be slightly ill and that her lover would be afraid to see her die. Suddenly, Sam understood how Lucifer could have such a dislike for humans, the people who destroyed the beautiful nature around them and killed one another for petty reasons.

***

No one in the impala was talking. Dean was singing along to his music and Cas was looking at him tenderly. Crowley couldn't believe he had to sit in the back seat of a car for hours with those two. He was the King of Hell after all, he could have already been there, ready to kill Abaddon if it wasn't for the fact that the First Blade only worked with the Mark of Cain.

"Why are we driving there? Why doesn't angel boy just fly you both and we'll meet up?"

"Cas can't fly right now. Stop complaining."

Oh, the façade Dean had put up to try and make people around him believe that nothing was out of the ordinary, it was good. Crowley could feel it though, he could see it. How Dean couldn't stop thinking about the Blade, how all he wanted was to take it in his hand again and kill. The hunter may have been trying to act normal, just driving and singing to his favourite songs, holding the angel's hand like everything was fine. But Crowley knew. The desire for violence, it was all over Dean. And the King of Hell noticed it too. The Mark. It felt the proximity of the Blade. Crowley could hear the blood pulsing into it, calling for the weapon. Oh, how great a sight it would be to reunite them. The demon couldn't wait to witness the blood lust, the primal need to kill invading Dean once again, making him closer to what he was, pulling him away from the angel, away from Heaven. The Mark of Cain worked beautifully, slowly incrusting itself into the hunter's being, creeping inside and awakening his darkest side. Lucifer had Cain and Crowley would have Dean, what a team would they make in Hell.

Sure, Castiel would try to keep Dean right, try to make him resist the urge to kill, the urge to let in this power and this incredible feeling of satisfaction you get by taking a life. But Crowley was certain that the troubles in Heaven would distract the angel from this task. The King of Hell knew a lot of things and he kept tabs on Dean. The hunter hadn't spent much time with Cas in the last couple of months. And what better than some time apart from his lover, killing monsters with the brother who hated him and brought feelings of guilt and worthlessness into him, for Dean to relish the power of the Mark, to learn to enjoy bringing pain to his enemies. Crowley had seen the excitement in the hunter's eyes when he first saw him in the bunker. Dean enjoyed killing now and he couldn't wait any more than the King of Hell to put the Blade through Abaddon's neck.

***

"You want me to what?"

Lucifer had thought Cybelle would be in a better mood and more inclined to accept their plan if she was closer to nature instead of cooped up inside the bunker so they were now sitting outside in the light of the sunset.

"You don't have to talk to him, Lucifer and I can do that, we need you to find him that's all."

"Oh, is it that simple? That will never work. God is a jerk. He does not care about Heaven, or the angels, or the natural order, or anything. He would not help with the apocalypse, he would not do anything when monsters were being taken and tortured, he let Castiel kill thousands of angels on a power trip. He simply does not care."

"Did you go see him again after I was sent back in the cage?"

"Eve really wanted to go. I told her it was useless but she still wanted to try, so we went to talk to him and he said it was none of his concern. Because he is a jerk who abandoned his creation and his family."

"You found God for Eve even though you thought it was a waste of time, but you will not do it for me? Cyb, please, Sam and I deserve a chance too. Metatron broke Heaven, he made all the angels fall, this is a much bigger deal than tortured monsters or the apocalypse."

Cybelle closed her eyes. She seemed to be thinking it over. A nice breeze ruffled Sam's hair for a while and it felt good, just sitting there in the grass for once.

"We don't need God. We can use the weapons Balthie stole and fight Metatron. We have an archangel here. Luci can rule Heaven."

Her tone was almost pleading. She really wanted anything but to have to go to God. Sam wanted to give her that, but Lucifer was right, it was their only option.

"The angels wouldn't let him, they wouldn't follow Lucifer. We have no other choice, no one else is left to take the lead over there."

"Luci can send us back in time. We could kill Metatron before he does the spell. Heaven would go back to the way it was."

"Cybelle, it was chaos up there. The angels were already divided into factions fighting each other for power. It's a good plan B, but it can't really be like that anymore. I don't want to force you to do something you don't want, but we're out of options, we need you to do this."

She opened her eyes and looked up at Sam.

"Fine, but if I am going to do this, I need something in exchange."

"What is it?"

"I want my brothers' rings."

"I don't think I can do that. They're the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, I'm not giving them back the power to end the world."

"The apocalypse is over, Sam. My brothers did not bother you before, they will not now, I swear. I am not finding God without this."

Sam wasn't sure it was a good idea but he didn't seem to have any other choice. He went back inside the bunker, into Dean's room, and got the rings. He was hoping he wouldn't have to tell his brother about this because that would piss him off. He put the three rings on the ground next to Cybelle and sat back in his place on the grass.

"Thank you."

She smiled and slipped the rings in her pocket.

"Now, God is actually pretty easy to find. You simply have to talk to the right person. And I happen to be in the good graces of the only being in existence who knows where that jerk is, no matter what."

Cybelle put her hands down on the grass and looked up to the sky. She seemed to be concentrating for a while, then the moon slowly started to disappear.

"An eclipse. This is how I let this person know I need to talk to him when I don't know where he is."

They waited for what felt like forever, but when Sam checked his watch, only half an hour had passed. The moon reverted to its place in the sky as soon as a silhouette appeared in the shadows.

"Hello, brother."

Death gave Cybelle an exasperated look but she only smiled, with maybe an hint of resentment in her eyes. Sam guessed she was disappointed her brother didn't come to her help during all the time Abaddon had her. The way they were around each other made Sam miss the good old times with Dean, when they first started looking for Azazel.

"Death? You think he can find God?"

"Oh, is that what this is about, sister?" He turned to face Sam. "Yes, I can find anyone at any moment, of course Nature would have told you. How could I reap them if I don't know where they are?"

"Nature?"

"I am Death. Our brothers are War, Famine and Pestilence. You think she is called differently? No, she got the habit of using a different moniker from the Mother of All Monsters. Those two spent so much time together their names became confused into one. Mother Nature, can you believe it?"

"Please, do not remind me."

Death gave a glance to his brother-in-law that made it clear he disapproved of his presence. He then simply wrote something down on a piece of paper he had in his pocket and handed it to Sam.

"Here, I don't know why you want to see him, but I doubt you will get the results you are hoping for. My sister would have already told you that, as she is not a fan of his."

He gave his hand to Cybelle and helped her up.

"You are not on my lists, Nature. You are doing fine, stop worrying so much. You will get through this, I promise."

"You don't know that."

"I will not let anything happen to you, little sister. Even if you annoy me sometimes with all the work you give me."

"Thank you, brother. Oh and I have this you can give back to the young ones."

She put the other Horsemen's rings in Death's hand, they shared a last goodbye and he was gone. Sam looked down at the coordinates on the paper. He could barely see them in the light of the moon.

"Looks like we're good to go."

They all smiled at each other and got back inside so Sam could get some sleep before they went on with their plan.


	7. Chapter 7

Abaddon was staying in an abandoned house. It looked beautiful and just a little creepy in the light of the sunset. Dean parked the impala on the road, hidden from view of the building by some trees. He didn't waste any time getting out of the car and asking Crowley to give him the First Blade. He'd been craving it for months, he needed to feel its power again, no matter how many times he'd denied it. And he'd felt blood pulsing into the Mark of Cain the whole trip here, like it knew how close the weapon was. Dean almost stopped several times, but he didn't because the King of Hell never would've given him the Blade before it was necessary. Now it was and Dean felt great excitement extending his shaking hand toward Crowley. And when his fingers took a hold around the weapon, he felt complete again, like a piece had been missing from him since he killed Magnus and he finally got it back. It was a great feeling, it was primal and pure, like purgatory.

Dean was brought out of his thoughts when his eyes met Cas's. There was so much worry in the deep blues of the angel, and was it a bit of fear hiding in the corner? Dean couldn't bear the idea that the one he loved could be afraid of him. For a moment, he wanted to let go of the Blade, turn around, go back to the bunker and forget all about the Knight of Hell. But he remembered Abaddon harvesting souls and knew he wouldn't do it, he couldn't leave when he had a way to stop something horrible. And so what if he lost himself and everything he had in the process? He didn't deserve any of that stuff anyway. The only good thing he could bring to this life was to save a few innocent people and, while that didn't make him feel as proud and great as it used to, it was still his purpose on earth, it was why Castiel rose him from perdition in the first place.

Dean led the way to the house, Cas and him got in through the front door while Crowley went around back. They had to do quite an amount of fighting but the three of them were experienced and skilled enough that they had no problem killing the demons keeping guard on the main floor. Dean enjoyed it, he enjoyed the feeling of power that came with driving the Blade through a demon's neck, he enjoyed the loud thud of bodies falling to the floor and the noise a head made while rolling away, he enjoyed the distinctive sound a demon made when getting stabbed by an angel blade. The bloodshed excited him. He was the first of them to get to the stairs. He didn't even wait for the others. He just ran up, restless for the thrill finally ending Abaddon's life would be.

The Knight of Hell was sitting on the windowsill at the end of the hallway. She simply watched as Dean approached, checking every room he passed and cutting the head off any demon he found. Violence gave him pleasure and he kept wanting more. He barely noticed Crowley and Castiel reaching the top of the stairs. He only had thoughts of bloodlust and eyes for Abaddon.

He raised the Blade, prepared to strike, when he got to the last few feet away from her. But she was a Knight of Hell and she was nowhere near powerlessness. She put her hand up and sent him further away. Dean was only pushed back a few steps though and she seemed as surprised as he was. A satisfied grin appeared on the hunter's lips and, slowly but surely, he started advancing again. Abaddon tried to fly him across the hallway but it wouldn't work. She had to resign herself to fight him directly.

She blocked his first attempt to get the Blade through her neck and she did hit him a couple of times. However, the Mark of Cain made Dean faster, stronger and more relentless than ever. It only took a few minutes for the hunter to win the upper hand. He made Abaddon fall on her knees and he drove the First Blade into her heart. For a moment, he felt great, drunk with power and accomplishment. But after he kicked her off the weapon and turned around, he was lost. The fight was over and he didn't know what to do next. He longed for more blood, for more death. Castiel was staring at him, worry highly visible on his face. The angel took a few cautious steps.

"Dean?" No answer. The hunter just stayed where he was, staring somewhere vague between Cas and Crowley, his whole body shaking. "Dean." The King of Hell was smiling with contentment. He knew what the Mark was doing to him. He had known all along that the Blade would awake Dean's darkest side. He wanted this to happen. "Dean." Castiel took two or three more steps, but Dean still wasn't paying attention to him. Because the hunter was realizing this had always been Crowley's plan. It was why he'd brought him to Cain. Not only for him to get the Mark and be able to kill Abaddon, but so Dean would embrace the darkness and join him to rule Hell. "Dean!" He was walking too now. He was walking at a confident pace and he was looking straight ahead. He was like in daze. No thoughts were going through his mind. Only the pure and primal feeling of anger brought on by being manipulated, fed by the frustration he'd buried deep for all these years. "DEAN!" The Blade was meant to kill. It was its purpose, why it'd been made. Dean didn't question it. He just followed the instinct. And nothing could compare to the ecstasy he got from putting his hand on the King of Hell's shoulder and pierce his skin with the Blade, pushing the weapon deep inside of the demon. Crowley looked both surprised and disappointed. Betrayal was the last thing Dean saw in his eyes before the King fell to the ground.

***

Sam, Cybelle and Lucifer were at the door of a university teacher's office at the other end of the country from the bunker. The angel had flown the hunter there, following the coordinates Death had given. Nature had appeared next to them after a few seconds. The seventh floor of a tall building in the middle of a big city seemed like an odd place to find God, but Cybelle said he wanted to try the whole human experience and had been hiding amongst people, living ordinary lives, one after the other, desperate to connect with his creation.

Sam knocked and a voice that sounded strangely familiar invited them in. Chuck Shurley was sitting behind a massive desk and he didn't look surprised even for a second to see them there, maybe just an hint of sadness in his eyes but otherwise his expression was welcoming. He stood up and walked across the room to join them.

"Son, it feels nice to see you again."

Lucifer grinned and when Chuck leaned in for a hug, the angel let himself fall into the embrace, evident relief transpiring through his vessel's entire body. Cybelle kept her distance, standing by the door, observing from a safe distance. Sam couldn't believe what he was witnessing. Had the prophet been God all along?

"Chuck?"

"Yeah, Sam, it's me. I'm sorry. I had to pretend I was a prophet so you and your brother wouldn't figure out my true identity."

"But why? The world was ending, Heaven became complete chaos. So many things could've been avoided if you'd just helped."

"I was done, Sam. It's why I left Heaven. My creation was finished and it was time to let it take a life of its own. I wanted to see how free will would affect the natural order. I wanted to know how it would all evolve without my intervention and it has been fascinating to watch. Now I see the angels need me. I was trying to delay my return, hoping things would settle on their own, but your presence here gives me no more choice."

God put his hand on Sam's shoulder and stared directly into his eyes.

"Here, let's go. Time for me to go back to my family."

***

Dean didn't even get a second to fully take in what had just happened. Crowley's empty dead meat suit had barely touched the floor when the hunter was fiercely pushed against the wall. The First Blade was taken from his hands, not without pain, and Dean fell back into reality, letting himself slide against the wall until he was sitting. He blinked and took a look around at the scene. Abaddon lay face down by the window, red hair and blood shining in the moonlight. Crowley appeared so human with emotions still printed on his features, Dean almost regretted killing him. But the worst was Castiel. He was standing over him, holding the Blade, and he seemed broken. Fear still occupied his eyes, worry creased his eyebrows, sadness swallowed his words. It crushed Dean to see the angel like this and he lowered his gaze, unable to face the wreck he'd created. Fingers lifted his chin and his eyes met Castiel's.

"It's okay, Dean. It will be fine. We will get through this. Together. Alright?"

The hunter couldn't help but shake his head slowly, tears forming in his eyes. How could they overcome this? Even now, realizing how much control the Blade had over him, Dean still craved for its power, he still craved for the way he felt holding the weapons and spilling blood with it. He felt bad about letting it take over but he wanted to get back the impression of invulnerability he'd had while fighting Abaddon.

"I'm sorry, Cas. I'm bad. It's too late to change that now. You should let me go. Just take Baby and go back to the bunker. Forget about me, I was never good for you anyway."

"No. You are not damned, you are not hopeless. Cain was able to let go of this and so will you. I'll make sure of it. Don't even think of giving up again, I will not let you do this, understand me? I love you Dean and I am never leaving you again."

Castiel pulled him to his feet, put his arm around the hunter's waist and helped him walk back to the car. Dean didn't have the will to protest. The angel stopped to put the First Blade in the trunk before they got inside the impala. The hunter didn't feel up to drive so Castiel took his place. Dean lay his head on his lover's lap and buried his face in the trench coat. The angel put on one of the tapes he found lying around and started the engine. One hand on the wheel, the other lightly, lovingly stroking Dean's shoulder, Castiel sent them on their way back home.

They just had a victory, but none of them felt like celebrating it. Killing Abaddon had necessitated a great sacrifice and now that Dean had accomplished the purpose it brought him, he felt just as worthless and poisonous as ever, even more if such a thing was possible. He didn't want to keep going, not like this. He'd scared and disappointed Cas, staying with him was only going to hurt the angel, like he'd done so many times before. He loved Castiel. He loved him so much and he couldn't tell him, he couldn't let him know how he felt about him, because that would only get them closer and bring the angel down with him. Dean wasn't going to let that happen. He just wouldn't. He'd let Cas drive them back to the bunker and as soon as he'd get a chance, the hunter would leave. It was the best thing for everyone. He couldn't screw up anything else trying to do the right thing or to protect them. He caused so much damage in the past months and he was done. He was done trying to fix his relationship with Sam when all it did was ruin his little brother's life. He was done trying to pretend he could actually make it work with Cas when, really, he only ever hurt the people he loved most. There was no point in any of this anymore. Dean had fulfilled his purpose and it was time for him to leave it all behind, time to get away from everyone to allow them to live without the burden he carried.


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh hey, you are back, great!"

Dean and Cas had barely gotten out of the impala. Cybelle seemed to have been waiting for them in the garage. How did she know they would park Baby there instead of leaving her outside like they did last time, Dean had no idea, maybe she'd been sitting outside and saw them arrive.

"Sam has gone for a supply run. You and I will go wait for him in the kitchen to let Castiel have some time alone in the library with Luci and our guest."

"Why?" The hunter and his angel asked at the same time.

"Just come with me, Dean, I will explain. And Castiel... you will see."

She seemed in a much better mood than when they left and her smile was encouraging, but Castiel looked reluctant to do as she said.

"Do not worry, Castiel. I will not let him out of my sight. I met Cain during his first years with the Mark, I know how he is right now. I can handle this. Your boy will be in good hands."

Cybelle grabbed Dean's hand and dragged him away. She let go of him once they reached the kitchen and, turning his head back for a moment, the hunter saw Cas walk past the door, heading for the library. Dean sat at the table and looked up at Cybelle, expecting her to give him an explanation for this or tell him who was the guest she mentioned.

"You are planning on leaving, are you not?"

"How did you know?" He sighed.

"Cain did the same after killing his brother. He left his family and never looked back. But you did not kill Sam. On the contrary, you are having problems with him because you would not let him die. You have no reason to run away."

"I'm no good to anyone here."

"That is not true. But there is something you are not telling Castiel, is there not? About you and the Mark? I know Cain, he would not have simply given it to you out of the goodness of his heart, so what did he want in return?"

"He wants me to use the Blade on him."

"Oh. Of course he would. And you did not tell Castiel because you think it means there is no hope of you ever getting rid of the Mark, right?"

"I am damned and I don't want to hurt him. Now, get out of the way."

Dean had enough of this conversation and Cas was busy so it was a perfect time to leave. He rose from his chair and tried to get to the door and go get his stuff, but she wouldn't let him pass.

"Yeah, I am not about to let you leave just so you can kill yourself."

"There is no point in saving me, Cybelle." He lifted his sleeve to reveal a pulsing red Mark of Cain. "This is never coming off and Cas doesn't have to bear this burden with me. I've caused enough pain and trouble as it is, no need in adding to it."

"You are wrong. I consider us friends now, Dean, and I happen to be in really good terms with Lucifer. You know, the one who created this Mark in the first place? He can take it away. And he will, I will see to that personally. Now, promise you will not do anything stupid?"

"Fine." Dean went back to sitting. He didn't let it show, but inside he felt some relief. He was still worthless poison, but he could at least see an end to the bloodlust that'd been brought on by using the First Blade. "Tell me, now, who's our guest?"

***

When Castiel entered the library, he wondered why Cybelle was making a big deal out of Chuck the prophet being in the bunker. They wrongly presumed him dead, but his return was hardly of importance in this moment. However, the way Lucifer was around him arose suspicion in the angel's mind. Maybe the writer hadn't been who they thought he was. Cas had almost reached them when they noticed his presence.

"Son, I am so happy to see you! I'm proud of you. You understood the importance of free will, you fought for it. I only wish your brothers and sisters would've done the same."

"Father?"

"Yes, Castiel, Father is here. Sam, Cyb and I went to get him for help. After we defeat Metatron, he will take back his place in Heaven and bring order back to the angels."

Castiel wasn't as pleased as Lucifer to see God return after all those years and, before he could stop himself, he was yelling at him.

"I looked for you everywhere. We needed you and you didn't do anything. You let us all alone, we were lost. Hundreds of our brothers and sisters died in the chaos your absence created after the apocalypse. You could have prevented that!"

"I thought it was time for you all to learn to do things on your own." God remained calm, maybe he had expected that kind of outburst. "Humans have managed to do everything with little intervention from heaven. I wrongly assumed the angels could accomplish the same. Now, Metatron has gone too far and we will have to rectify this."

***

"It has been a while now, I think we should go join them. You can meet your father-in-law before your brother gets back."

"You're making me even more nervous about meeting God, I don't do parents."

"Do not worry, Dean, he will like you. You are the Righteous Man after all."

"I jumpstarted the apocalypse, then screwed up the whole plan and I'm still wearing the Mark of Cain. I've also spent most of my life saying he doesn't exist and the other part calling him a terrible father, I'm the worst son-in-law he could have. He will hate me."

"He _is_ a terrible father. Fortunately for you, we are the only children-in-law he has. And even though I take care of his creation and I have done a great job with nature, he does not like me. He will probably like that you are a better choice than I am."

"How could a human who screws up everyone he loves possibly be better than a powerful being like you?"

"Powerful does not mean better, Dean. God and I never really got along. It was like this before he created angels. He was not happy to see angels spending time with me. He blamed me for Luci's rebellion and for Gabe leaving, and I swear I had nothing to do with either of those, but I did know where Gabe was the whole time and it pissed off God and Michael."

"The angels are smart to stay alone. Clearly the ones who get in a relationship don't pick the best lovers."

"Rebels do tend to make questionable decisions. But, hey, it is not like God is such a great guy himself."

"Yeah. By the way, how did you find him in the first place?"

"My big brother."

"Which one?"

"I only have one older brother, the others are considerably younger than I am. Death knows where any living being is."

"And he just told you? Didn't ask for anything in return?"

"No. He just wanted to help. He is Death, souls being stuck in the veil bothers him."

Dean thought there was something she might not be telling him and the rage and overwhelming desire to kill was starting to rise in him again but he did his best to control it, afraid hurting her would destroy all of his chances at redemption. He couldn't keep it in forever though. The Mark of Cain was completely taking over and, as soon as they reached the library and Dean saw God, he ran and jumped at him.

Chuck didn't even move or flinch. Maybe he knew the hunter was harmless to him because he didn't have the Blade with him. It only made Dean angrier. The jerk just abandoned his children just like John abandoned him and Sam. And they all went through hell, literally. The angels had been a mess since the apocalypse and it only made life so much harder for everyone.

"Dean." Cas moved toward him but Cybelle was there first. She pulled him away from God and dragged him to a chair away from the angels. The hunter sat, shaking, unable to figure out how to just be, how to resist the temptation to kill, again and again. He looked at Cas who'd stayed where he was, clearly afraid of coming close to him, and seeing this, once again, broke Dean's heart. He couldn't control himself and everyone was afraid of him, even his boyfriend. And while the First Blade was still in the trunk of the impala, the hunter did have an angel blade on him. Neither Castiel nor Lucifer dared make even a step in his direction. No one found a word to say and they simply stood there until Sam got back.

The younger Winchester got in the library with two sandwiches. He'd entered through the garage after putting back the car he'd borrowed from who knows and he'd made a stop to the kitchen because that's what they'd agreed on. When Cybelle wasn't there, he assumed Dean had gotten back and he decided to make a snack for both of them. They would need the energy to go against Metatron.

Sam didn't expect to find them silently staring at each other. He'd expected arguments and maybe some yelling. He couldn't help but notice the broken look on Castiel who was standing a bit far from Dean, especially considering they had just started an actual relationship. Sam gave his brother a plate, his eyes stopping for an instant on Cybelle's hands resting on the man's shoulders.

"What happened?"

"Your brother attacked me. Nature took him off me before Castiel got too close. Unlike my son, she can't be killed by an angel blade."

Sam exchanged a look with Cas, understanding that the angel had the good sense of making sure the First Blade was far from the Mark. He wasn't exactly surprised that such a thing happened, his brother had been on edge lately, but fearing it and knowing it actually occurred were two different things.

"Well anyway, we still have a job to do and I worked out a plan while you were all distracted by your personal lives, so we should concentrate on that for now."

Getting back to business seemed like a good idea. It would occupy their minds for a couple of hours and Sam was grateful to Cybelle for that. He only wished he knew how to help his brother.

"So, God knows everything about Heaven because he created it. That will allow him to find a stairway to Heaven. God, Sam and I will go up there. We can fight the angels that oppose us on our way. Once God is in the same room as Metatron, he will be able to take all the godly powers away from him without a problem. Castiel will make sure his followers make it safely back to Heaven. God will explain his return and everything to the angels while I take Metatron down to the cage. Sam will be in charge of summoning my brother to tell him when Heaven will be ready for all the souls that are still stuck in the veil. Sounds good?"

Sam thought it was a great plan, pretty straight-forward and if it sounded too easy, it was probably only because he was working with powerful beings.

"Cyb, are you sure you have enough juice to drag Metatron to the cage by yourself?"

Dean was raising a good point and it felt nice to hear him sounding somehow calm, able to think things through well enough to help, in the midst of the Mark messing him up. Sam didn't know how long his brother had been using a nickname for their new friend, but he was happy to see him bonding with another person. Maybe getting close to other people would help them fix their relationship and be less dependent of each other.

"I am almost back to full power, you do not have to worry about me, I have this all figured out."

"About that. Cyb, you forgot me. I cannot believe you left me out of your plan. Do you think I am useless?"

"No, Luci. I just thought you could stay here and fix the Mark of Cain situation."

"Why? I have no reason to do that. Dean made a choice when he got it. If I help him, I will have to help Cain too. I am not getting involved."

"For me? Please, Luci, that would make me happy if you could just help them. It will only take a second. Then, I am sure God will let you go on with your life and not have you sent back in the cage. Will you not, God?"

Chuck nodded, though he didn't look exactly enthusiastic at this proposition, and Lucifer decided to do as Cybelle said.

"Nature, you care what happens to the Winchesters. It's amazing what a soul can do, isn't it? You actually got attached to those humans." God turned to face the hunters. "She had a child with one once and didn't even blink when hellhounds came for him. Now she wants to help you for no other reason than the fact that she cares."

Cybelle looked pretty angry. "You know what else a soul can do? It linked my powers to my emotions. I was tortured for weeks and it created a storm strong enough it destroyed a whole town. Happy?"

"So you did care about all those people dying!" Sam had had trouble believing her when she'd said otherwise.

"Of course I did!" A breeze made an appearance in the library, like it had earlier when Lucifer and her were fighting. "But I was not going to tell you. I was already powerless, I did not want to show any more weakness."

"Wait, you have a soul? Since when?" Lucifer looked surprised and confused, as would be expected from someone who just learned that kind of important information about their girlfriend, but there was something more. It seemed like the Devil was uncomfortable with this, like he felt threatened or somehow a less interesting choice of partner.

"You didn't tell him? How are you two still together? Is this just to annoy me?" It was obvious God hadn't spent much time with Cybelle and his son. While they fought and bickered a lot, they had great chemistry and always ended up standing close to one another, their positions complementary, without them giving the impression they even noticed doing it. It was clear to Sam, after being around them for only two days, that they did love each other.

"No. I was pissed that you did that to me and I could not deal with all the feelings I had all of a sudden. I only told my brothers. Luci ended up back in the cage before I calmed down and pulled myself together."

"During the apocalypse." Lucifer was putting the pieces together. "When you came back from seeing him and stormed away, you were not simply mad that he would not help, you had just gotten a soul."

"Yes. That jerk you call a father forced one into me." It made sense now, why she hated God so much. "Now can we just get on with the plan?"

And they did. God led the way and Cybelle followed him, holding Sam's arm to bring him along with her. It was nothing like he'd experienced before. It felt as though they became wind, it was nice and peaceful. No way of transportation had ever been this smooth and Sam was almost disappointed when they reached their destination. Chuck was waiting for them. It seemed Cybelle was moving slower than him or any of the angels. God gestured at them to go first and they didn't waste any time stepping into Heaven.

Castiel walked to Dean, not wanting to leave and just say goodbye from across the room. The hunter grabbed the trench coat and pulled the angel close, forcing him to straddle him. Castiel could feel his breath on his ear. "It'll be alright, okay? When you come back, I'll be all better and we won't have to worry about the Mark or the angels anymore." They shared a kiss and Castiel went to find his followers, borrowing the impala.

It seemed Lucifer had gone to get the First Blade while they kissed, because the devil was standing in front of Dean, holding the weapon, looking pretty threatening. It didn't scare the hunter though. Not much did at this point. Not even when the archangel grabbed his hand and they flew away without any warning.

They had barely touched the ground when Cain came storming out of his house. Lucifer shoved the First Blade in Dean's hand and its power invaded the hunter as if he never let go of it. The bloodlust came back and he couldn't resist the urge to kill. He didn't even think, he just let the Mark take over his body. It felt so good extending his arm and pushing the Blade through Cain's neck. Pure ecstasy ran through Dean as he watched the lifeless body fall to the earth. It was short-lived though. Lucifer took the opportunity the hunter's momentary distraction gave him to snatch the First Blade and throw it across the field.

The devil took Dean's arm and put one of his hands on the Mark of Cain. The hunter could feel all the rage and endless thirst for murder sipping out of him. When he looked down, the Mark was gone. He was free, he was himself again. Dean hadn't felt this good in months. Somehow, he was hopeful. Somehow, he believed things could get better. For the first time in years, he actually wanted to keep going.


	9. Chapter 9

Adam couldn't find an explanation as to why the door of the cage just opened, allowing Michael to escape. He, on the other hand, was too weak to get on his feet and was therefore left there alone. Until she came. The young woman who rescued Lucifer what felt like years ago. There was another angel with her. Adam knew what he was because, like Michael, he wasn't in a vessel. It was when Cybelle threw the angel effortlessly across the room that Adam understood just how strong the archangel had to be to get the upper hand against her. He half-expected her to leave right then but she came closer and squatted in front of him.

"You did not think I would let you rot in here forever, did you?"

She didn't seem offended that he did though. She was smiling brightly but Adam could still see some pain and exhaustion in her eyes. It hadn't been there before and he wondered what could have happened to her since then. When she last came here, she was happy and confident and he'd gotten the impression that nothing could have put her down. Now, it was obvious she'd been broken and was only starting to fix herself.

"Why are you staring at me like this? Is there a problem?"

"You just seem... like you've been hurt or something. You were brighter last time I saw you."

"Yes, I was. The last few months have not been easy for me, but you should not worry about it. You have enough troubles of your own."

"Yeah, I can't get up. I wanted to leave when the door opened, like Michael, but..."

"I know. I will get you out of here and then I can heal you. My powers will not allow me to do it down here, I need to be closer to nature. I will have to carry you, is that okay?"

"Of course."

Cybelle gave him a warm smile and lifted him up in her arms. She made sure to close the door to the cage properly, so the angel she'd brought couldn't escape.

"Why did you let Michael get out?"

"I did not want to fight him. Also, God is back in Heaven now and he has made peace with Luci. It should all go well."

Cybelle carried him through what seemed like an endless amount of corridors before they went through a small hole Adam hadn't noticed. They emerged in a forest and she put him down on the ground to close the way they'd taken with a huge rock. It was obvious they were out of Hell now, but somehow, wherever they were didn't feel like they were back up on Earth either. Or maybe Adam was simply confused. He was having flashbacks of his time in the cage every couple of minutes after all.

"Cyb! So nice to see you again!"

"Benny!" Cybelle went to hug a man that had just appeared from between the trees, an old friend it seemed. Their reunion was short lived as it turned out other people were coming too. When the fight started, Adam noticed none of them was human. Wherever they were, it seemed he was the only human being there, and also the only one without fighting skills, or the simple ability to stand up for that matter.

"You brought a human, good way to get everyone's attention!"

"Yeah, I am sorry getting out of Hell without going through purgatory is not easily done."

Adam was worried for a moment that they would never make it out of there. He also questioned Cybelle's planning of this rescue because he thought bringing a weapon, any kind of weapon, would be pretty important when you get a human out of Hell and carry him through a land filled with monsters who want nothing more than to eat him. But apparently she didn't need a weapon. She could simply rip a head off with her bare hands, or throw a slightly flat rock with enough force that it cut the neck of three monsters in a row. She killed with as much ease as Benny did with his axe that looked like it was made out of bones.

But soon the sight of the blood and the sounds of the fighting became too hard for Adam to bear. He had to close his eyes and cover his ears because it reminded him too vividly of Hell. He couldn't get the memories of Lucifer and Michael tearing him apart over and over again out of his head. He didn't know if he could ever be alright after the years he spent down there. He only realized he was screaming when he felt arms around him.

"Shhh. Do not worry, Adam. I know it is hard and you suffered a lot, but you will get better. You will get through it. Look at me. You are not alone in this. I will bring you to people who can help you deal with this. Family. And I will visit often, okay?"

Her eyes were full of sympathy. And because Cybelle had come back for him, Adam believed her. He would make it through this.

***

Hope. That's what it was all about in the end. No matter how bad it got, you had to keep hope that it would eventually get better. Because the second you lose hope, you start making decisions that will impact on everything and considerably alter your chances to win the battle, your chances at an happy ending. And the best way not to become hopeless is to have faith. Faith that everything will come together in its own time, faith that everything happens for a reason, faith that it's just not meant to work out yet, faith in yourself, in your ability to get through this.

Hope and faith. Those two things are everything. They are what allows us to live through all the ups and downs and get to the other side stronger. They are what helps us fight our battles to the end. They are what keeps us from giving up. And if you don't have faith and you've lost hope, sometimes someone has some for you.

Castiel had faith for both of them. He knew they could make it. Dean was broken and the past year had been rough on him, it had been on both of them, but the hunter wasn't a lost cause. Castiel would help him find happiness, even in this life. And Dean would help Castiel too. They would stay together now. Two broken men, trying to make a relationship work, trying to figure out how to get through this life without breaking each other further.

By the time Castiel had explained to his angels followers how to go back to Heaven and join God, it had been too late. As he watched them all go, he could feel his grace burning him up from the inside. There had been no time for him to go anywhere, to reach his father or anyone who could've helped him fix it, or find his own again. He was going to die if he kept this borrowed grace any longer so Castiel did the only thing he could, he got rid of it.

It had felt like falling all over again, but this time, it was his choice. He had thought about it a lot in the past months and he was ready to let go of being an angel, for good. He would be a fragile human and he would get old and die, but he would get to do this with Dean. And it was all that mattered. All he had done those last few years had been to save this one man and when he was human before, he'd understood what humanity meant, what feelings were really like.

Castiel becoming human and wanting to be with Dean turned how perfectly for the Winchesters. Sam had never really wanted to spent his whole life hunting and the brothers realized that their relationship would be much easier if the younger one quit the life and just went back to school. So Sam enrolled in the law program of the nearest college, but he kept studying the Men of Letters' books and, as Bobby had done, he answered phone calls pretending to be Cas and Dean's supervisor or giving them some information about whatever they were hunting that week.

Adam moved in the bunker and helped Sam from time to time. He was planning on going to college someday too, but for now he wasn't ready. The last few years had been hard and he needed time to work through some issues, as he was still having nightmares about Hell. But overall, they were all pretty happy with their lives at the moment. Adam finally getting to know his brothers, Sam not having to hunt every week and being able to get his degree and Dean killing monsters and ghosts and all kinds of things with Cas, his former-angel boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have comments, any comments, positive or not, please don't be shy, I'd love to read anything that could help me get better :)
> 
> This story didn't take the road I planned, it got away from me, but it still got to the same point and ended how I planned it so I'm kind of satisfied with how it turned out, for my first multi-chapter fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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